掛在天花板上的天線波波

不知為何當媽以後臉書上常會出現很多辣媽擁有平坦小腹的真人現身說法，看著看著就讓我好生羨慕啊！從少女時代開始就一直是胖妹，減肥也常常三分鐘熱度，唯一比較慶幸的就是我四肢肥大但肚子一向很平。寶寶生完之後四肢依然肥大但肚子垂垂，我從虎背熊腰變成一隻青蛙了呀！

心動不如馬上行動，就在家裡做些簡單的運動，看能不能練個腹肌出來，不然變平也行，萬萬想不到樂仔是阻止我前進的阻力(雷劈)。放個鄭多燕跟著一起跳，有個娃兒會饒有興致的跟我跳一下然後就梗在我的胯下不讓我動；做個伏地挺身他就整個滑到我身下然後笑嘻嘻的抱住我以為我在跟他玩。好的，沒關係，我在你睡著的時候做總可以吧！但這個娃兒睡覺的時候喜歡在我的肚子上磨蹭然後抱我大腿睡覺(是的，我是他的巨型安撫玩具)，就算我強撐意志力告訴我自己要起床做運動，還是不知不覺就跟他沉入夢鄉，囧。那好吧，大不了我早點起床做運動行了吧！萬萬想不到娃兒身上裝了媽媽雷達，不管老木早上有多麼輕巧多麼鬼祟多麼隱匿行跡的輕輕滑下床，最快走出房門口最慢開始暖身時有個娃兒就啜泣起來了(這一定是真愛)。

好吧！樂仔！你值得擁有一個既胖又顯老的媽媽。

即便我內心渴望擁有一個帥氣的腹肌，但現實是我現在身上仍然隨身攜帶一個時常溢出褲頭外的大肚子。奇怪，我從來不是個辣妹，為啥會幻想當個辣媽？莫非這就是所謂的換個位置換個腦袋？

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很久沒用英文了，突發奇想來用英文思考，居然耗了我一下午才寫出來，果然英文沒有常練習不行啊！

Muscle fantasy

It is weird to say that my recent hobby is to admire those women with wonderful figures especially in abdominal muscle. I guess it is because my tummy became loose and saggy after delivering the baby, so I very much miss my never come back flat tummy.

I try to do some exercise hoping to build up muscle but my baby boy is the one to stop me moving forward. When I do push-ups, he will slide over to hug me. If I do body stretch, he will hold my thigh and hug me. Fine, let me do exercise after he asleep. However, he likes to cuddle up to my tummy and sleeps with my leg or arm. Yes, I am his comfort toy. I literally fall asleep with him even though I told myself to get up. Shame on me. Fine, again, I will get up early to do exercise, but it is like my bed has mommy radar, though I sneak out from the bed extremely quiet and carefully, he finds out immediately and starts with his sobbing. Well then boy, you deserve a fat and old mom.

So far, I am still with a big belly button. I am not a hot girl ever since, how come I would have such plan for becoming a hot mother?